Recently there was an article in the New York Times about people sharing salary information. Jim at Blueprint for Financial Prosperity was one of those interviewed and had his own response on the topic. This topic dear to my heart.  My girlfriend and I often discuss this topic because we’ve found a wide divergence in behavior amongst our friends. My friends who are mostly guys tend to talk openly about salary while her friends who are mostly women do not. I don’t know if it’s a gender difference or just difference in friends. She believes that the difference in behavior is gender correlated, and that ultimately women by being more secretive do themselves a disservice.

While my jury is still out on the gender difference, I agree on the latter. I believe it’s better regardless of gender to share information amongst your friends. While access to salary information is much better now with websites such as Salary.com, and Payscale. None of these online tool provide the nuance that you can get from a friend. I can find out exactly what my friends do when I ask and how much they earn for doing so. I can know exactly how much responsibility they have. Telling me what Financial Analyst Level IV in 100-400 person company earns is informative but less so than a five minute conversation with good friend who has a real job in a real company.

The salary conversation is most easily had right out of school when everyone is effectively starting at the same level. Envy and boastful pride generally don’t have the opportunity to rear their ugly heads when most people after college start roughly in the same levels. Sure, the Investment Bankers and Consultants make more, but they work those crazy hours. Few people take it personally that their friend might make more, at least not straight of school. The differences are small, and most people at that time acknowledge the trade off that’s often made to do something more personally rewarding.

As we get older, we do become more sensitive rightly and wrongly so. Some of us feel under compensated, and others hate to hear the braggadocio that might accompany salary gossip. I don’t disagree. As we get older the differences in pay become wider, and seemingly more arbitrary. However, we should all check our ego. Talking about money should not be ego or envy, but career advancement. There’s a time and place for sharing the information. Talk amongst coworkers is especially tricky and I have never had an explicit conversation on salary with a coworker. However, plenty of information can still be shared in the most general of terms with a coworker. Nadira Hira at Fortune.com points out the traps that might come with salary discussions at work. However, amongst friends outside of work when the conversation turns to careers, I firmly believe that information should flow freely.  How is someone to know they are underpaid unless they have friends who give them the dish? Networking isn’t about getting the next job through a friend or acquaintances, but knowing the opportunities that are out there.  Salary information is a big part of that.