Thu 29 Nov 2007
Over Thanksgiving, I gave a good yelling to my dad when I got out of the bathroom. He had recently stocked the bathroom with probably what was the cheapest toilet paper I have ever used in my life. It was the generic toilet paper from Market Basket, one of the lower priced Supermarkets in the Boston Area. I have no problem with either Market Basket or Store branded products. I think both can deliver fantastic values on some products. Market Basket toilet paper is not one of these products.
I preach frugality on most things. I don’t personally believe in owning flashy cars, designer clothes, or most other luxury items. I do, on the other hand, spend much more than the average person on traveling and I definitely believe in treating my bottom to “luxury” toilet paper. As a guy I have occasion to use toilet paper on average 5 times a week. When I do have to use toilet paper, I use a generous amount - I would say at least 20 sheets each visit on average, or about 7 feet.
I can purchase the least expensive toilet paper, Scott’s 1 Ply, available at drugstore.come for $9.99 for 12 rolls or 6000 sheets. The stuff I used at my Dad’s was much cheaper. He didn’t recall how much it cost, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it at was at most half the price of the Scott’s. I’ve used the cheap Scott’s 1 ply sheets before, and after using the Market Basket toilet paper, the Scott’s 1-ply would feel like Quilted Northern. The more expensive and thicker Charmin’s Ultra is offered at $9.99 for 12 rolls, or 2400 sheets.
- Scott’s 1 Ply: 6000/$9.99 = .1666 cents a sheet
- Charmins’ Ulttra: 2400/$9.99 = .41625 cents a sheet
- Market Basket (estimated) = .1666/2 = .08 cents a sheet
Knowing how much toilet paper I use, and the going price of toilet paper, I can figure out how much it really costs me to use the luxury brand over the course of lifetime (I estimate generously that I have about 60 years left on the ticker).
20 sheets X 5 visits X 60 years X 52.15 weeks = 312,900 sheets of toilet paper for the rest of my life

At most I can save a bit $1000 over my lifetime. This doesn’t even take to account the fact that I believe I would probably have to use more sheets of the cheap stuff to do the same job as better toilet paper. My estimate of total sheets is on the high side as I haven’t accounted for the fact that about half my toilet paper usage is provided free at work. The actual savings is likely to be much less.
Next time you’re victim of cheap toilet paper consider sending a message with a gift of your own. Life’s too short, and butt cheeks too sensitive to expose to thin grainy toilet paper. I certainly rather make my sacrifices elsewhere in life.
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November 29th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
[...] got a good laugh today on my lunch break reading this post over at AskDong. Dong talks about how he scolded his dad for buying super cheap toilet paper and proceeds to [...]
November 29th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Absolutely hilarious post! We usually go somewhere in the middle of the cost-quality spectrum. For us lately it is either the Member’s Mark or GP POM TP from Sam’s Club. Both are 2-ply and reasonably soft and the prices are very reasonable.
November 29th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
You’ve broken the final taboo in personal finance blog topics
Women only ever buy cheap toilet paper once…
November 29th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Lol. I like soft toilet paper, but I’m fine with the generic Giant brand. My parents use Charmain and whenever I go home it’s like using cloth….feels kinda weird and really fancy. I appreciate it more now than I used to even though I don’t notice generic Giant.
November 29th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Are you sure that will be the “end” of it? …wahaha
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:29 pm
I totally agree that cheap toilet paper is the worst! My dad purchased Scott one time and he’s never heard the end of it.
I also tried to switch to recycled toilet paper, but I have to switch back to Charmin/Cottenelle….
December 4th, 2007 at 7:55 am
[...] breaks down the cost of toilet paper. The result is that it’s not something you skimp on. It’s good to have confirmation of [...]
December 4th, 2007 at 9:58 am
You can make expensive toilet paper cheap by sticking to the sale + coupon gig. I haven’t had to buy cheap toilet paper in five years; I usually get ‘mid grade’ at a fairly decent price by simply keeping an eye out.
December 4th, 2007 at 10:55 am
I just bought 4 rolls of Ultra Charmin for $1.50, actually less with coupons from CVS. Probably more like 75 cents/4 pack. That means for a 12 pack I would pay $3. How does that screw with your numbers?
I only use Charmin, especially since finding CVS. Anyway I don’t think cheap TP is worth it either.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Living, by buying 4 rolls for $1.50 is equivalent of 12 rolls at 4.50 or a little less than half the cost I quoted. That’s a deal and really brings the gap between cheap toilet paper and premium much closer.
Great point from all about finding the toilet paper on sale.
December 4th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
[...] warns us that you shouldn’t skimp on toilet paper. For me, the difference in price between a nice roll of Charmin and a crappy bulk purchased Costco [...]
December 4th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Or you can do it the Indian way and skip the tp altogether — use a cup and water, and then wash your hands thoroughly. A billion Indians can’t be that wrong…
December 5th, 2007 at 8:56 am
[...] AskDong breaks down the cost of toilet paper. [...]
December 5th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
[...] Don’t Skimp On Toilet Paper @ Ask Dong [...]
December 5th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Haha, this was hilarious! Thanks, I’m with you on nixing cheap tp. I honestly believe that if you are using the quality stuff you can use less too, it all balances out.
December 5th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
You’re a guest in their house. While you might be unhappy with their choice of bathroom accessories, frankly, it’s none of your business. You should keep it to yourself. If that’s what they prefer in their household, who are you to tell them otherwise?
December 6th, 2007 at 9:37 am
Rick, while I respect your opinion. I would argue if I can’t criticize my family, who can I criticize? I would expect the same of my parents, and my friends. I rather have people close to me tell me that they think I’m being unreasonably cheap than just keep their mouths shut even when they’re my guests. I agree it’s different story if it’s just an acquaintance, but with family and close friends I believe that you have some latitude for communication.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:57 am
I love that analysis. I agree with you- I buy much more expensive toilet paper than I have to. Just one of those things you have to have in life.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:56 am
[...] I usually manage to snag better deals than my Dad can. Yes, we’re still talking even after I criticized him for his selection of toilet paper. I was hoping to pick up a new 802.11g router for less than $20. I was disappointed that cheapest [...]
December 6th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Lmao!…all this talk about tp! But it’s like a Sienfeld show and so right on the money! I received this site and blog entry from my boyfriend..He’s a “wrapper”! Yes, a Wrapper folks, and uses what I feel is an exorbantantly, excessive amount of TP when he “visits the bathroom”. (I buy the good stuff too!) Now don’t mistake me for a square counter er anything…but butt Cracks are only so big ya know. My question is: What on earth are you wiping with all that plush softness, quad ply, quilted, non alergenic, Toilet Paper?
December 8th, 2007 at 2:19 am
[...] Don’t Skimp on the Toilet Paper Figuring out that nice TP doesn’t cost too much over a life-time. (tags: toiletpaper money) [...]
December 31st, 2007 at 8:52 am
I think you people need to get a better toilet paper. It rips easy but not where it is supposed to . My wife and I are thinking of getting another brand.
December 31st, 2007 at 8:53 am
stick it!!!!!
February 4th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Is your math right?? The Scott Toilet paper I buy has 1000 sheets per roll. Did you make a mistake in your math? Please check the package.
I can buy Scott 1000 on sale for $2.50, that is 63 cents per ROLL, about 6 cents per 100 . I also have a coupon for 75 cents off. The coupon brings the price down to 44 cents per roll and about 5 cents per 100 including tax.
Check your figures and get back to us.
July 4th, 2008 at 6:17 am
I agree that you need to check your math. I get that Scott is .0016 cents per sheet. That is dividing 9.99 by 6000. If you put the decimal in when entering 9.99 in your calculator, you don’t need to move the decimal when getting your answer.
Does this make sense or am I looking at something wrong?
July 4th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Cindy, the price for the Scott is 9.99 Dollars. So when I divide that by 6000, I get .0016 Dollars which equals .1666 cents. I think that’s where we differ, the conversion from dollars back to cent (hence moving the cents).
July 5th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
You need to start thinking about conservation and stop wasting trees by making toilet paper. There are hand held sprayers or hand held bidets that work better than even the best toilet paper. Google them and make the switch.
July 25th, 2009 at 12:48 am
Omg! I absolutely hated Market Basket TP! My sis had it at her house when I was there for a week and it is the worst stuff ever…basically like using a thin tissue paper you’d throw in a gift bag…haha.
December 31st, 2009 at 1:13 pm
The best option remains to buy Charmin Ultra Soft at Amazon’s Groceries. My excel spreadsheet shows that the subscription price for their 4-Pack of 12 Megal rolls (400 sheets per roll) for $59.49, free shipping, comes up to 0.31 cents per sheet. Looks like one can have their toilet paper and wipe too!
December 31st, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Nancy … have you looked into a Bidet…. it is the least expenisive and the healthiest option.
December 31st, 2009 at 9:19 pm
It would be the most inexpensive option if our water didn’t come from a surface well, which we need to have filled every three weeks or so. The water from our artesian well is extremely salty, too salty to be treated properly. Moreover, the soil on our property is pure blue glaze. We must also reduce our water consumption to the minimum too extend the life of our septic field. In other words, toilet paper is cheaper for us than a bidet. The healthiest would probably be composting toilets, but that’s an investment we can’t afford yet…