In some regards I’ve become a bit of cliche of myself when it comes to my friends. Not only do most of friends know what my personal spending habits because they know me, they also read this blog. I think some of my friends think of me as the resident frugalskate - not cheapskate as I like to think I’m not cheap (though I could be wrong). I’d be happy with this label if it were more true. There are still many places I’m quite wasteful. Regardless, letting my friends know what mine financial value system is good on a multitude of levels.

How much and where we spend money has much to do with our friend and acquaintances. I’ve never heard anyone make a disparaging remark because someone was frugal. It’s being cheap and selfish that’s frowned upon. While Dick Cheney may not think of thrift and conservation as a basis for energy policy, it’s definitely a sound basis for personal budgetary policy. If you have good habits, your friends should know what your good habits are. And if your friends have better habits than you then they should serve as role models.  Keeping up with the Jones doesn’t have to be a bad thing if the Jones have good spending habits.  The problem is too often our neighbors have bad habits. Strive to be the neighbor with the good habits. Drive the late model used car, and let your friends know how much you saved on insurance, repairs, and outright cost.

One reason I suspect that so many people struggle to keep up with the Joneses is that they often don’t realize what financial peril the Jones might actually be in. Too often friends only share good news but not the bad. We’ll talk about the great deal we got on a television, but we fail to share the fact that we melted like Velveeta in front of the last auto dealer. I’m a big believer of financial transparency, good and bad, amongst friends. I’m sure I sound like a broken record at times, but I enjoy pitching financial sense, but I also try to be careful acknowledge many of my own shortcomings. Nobody wants to listen to a know it all. It’s not about telling friends and family what do, but sharing what you’ve learned.

The one area where I find frugality often in conflict with friendships is the actual act of socializing. So often social activities can revolve around spending money. Dinner out can be expensive. The markup on alcohol at a bar is close to 300% at least. I do think spending time with friends should be priority. This is another area where being open with your financial priorities can pay dividends. Good friends are not intentionally trying to help spend your money - they’re just trying to spend time with you. If they know you’re on a budget, they’re more likely to suggest more thrifty alternatives. However if you’re the one who is the most budget conscience, the responsibility to suggest alternatives does fall on your shoulder. Instead of going out to dinner, suggest a potluck. Instead of watching a game at bar, suggest watching the game at your place. Inviting friends over, and buying a 24 pack of beer is generally still substantially cheaper than getting drinks out at a bar. Remember, however trying to keep within a budget is not cart blanche to be take instead of give. Generosity does not have to come from spending money, just time and thought.  You just have to be more creative.

Be Frugal, Be Proud, and encourage your friends towards good financial habits.