SubscribeMon 23 Jul 2007
This weekend I attended a wedding in Newport RI, and right now am crossing the halfway point of wedding season. 3 down and 2 more to go. Having seen my friends get married in the last 5 years, it’s amazing how much things change between the ages of 25 and 30. The first wedding I attended when I was 25, most of my friends were single, few had graduate degrees, and none had children. Yesterday, more than half of the guests of the bride and groom were married. I was in the minority, with my lonely B.A. Given that the bride and groom are Dr. and Dr. “Smith”, there were a lot of young doctors in attendance. But even beyond that as I looked across at the table of my friends, there was an MBA, two Masters, and one PhD candidate.
The first wedding I attended as a guest of the bride and groom, 5 year past, seems like a distant memory. In the past 18 months, I’ve been in two, and attended an additional 5 weddings. I have friends who have averaged 10 a year for the past three years. Weddings are expensive for both those getting married and those attending. I won’t comment on the former since I have no experience with throwing a wedding, and on the latter my comments are only an observation on what a difference 5 years makes.
Five years ago, my friends and chipped in what we could in order to both give a present, and a small cash gift to the lucky bride and groom. I believe we each contributed about $50-$75 a person. At 25, most men and women are still at the cusp of their careers. At 31, they’ve usually entered into the meat of their career. Financial fortunes have usually turned. What I feel like is an appropriate gift has changed quite a bit in the past 5 years, reflecting my own improved financial situation. While my general belief on wedding gifts is that they are incidental rather than required, giving a gift to a couple as they enter a new stage of life is appropriate. A wedding is primarilty a celebration, not a gift bonanza. That said, there’s no question my friends who have married later rather than earlier have done better in the gift department.
If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to the RSS feed
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:00 am
My friends started getting married at 22. I average about 4 per year (most in the summer), but I had 6 last summer. This summer, one of the weddings that I was invited to had the worst bridal registry ever! I couldn’t believe the cheapest item was a single flat queen sheet ($120). The fitted was $120, and the shams were about $150…and don’t forget the duvet for $300…I really feel the crunch for this one because I had to get a present for the shower, the wedding, and reserve a hotel for 2 nights…UGH! I hope this summer will be the end of the weddings…but I know it’s just the beginning.
July 23rd, 2007 at 7:08 pm
I think I’m done with most of my friends - I was one of the last to get married, in my mid-30s. It was enough. The gifts aren’t the worst part - after a while, everyone starts spreading across the country, so then it’s airfare and hotels and taxis and rental cars and…argh. It’s worth it, because it gets everyone together, but every time I get a wedding invitation, local or far away, I cringe.
July 25th, 2007 at 8:01 am
Being in the wedding party is the hardest on your wallet. While the experience is fun and memorable, you also have to devote time and money into planning the shower, bachelorette party, etc. I need to set up a separate wedding savings account. The last wedding I was in set me back about $1,200 all-inclusive.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:48 am
I don’t understand (well, I do.. I know the history behind the bridal shower). But to me, the shower, bacherlorette party, bridal registry…are all unnecessary.